This is where I came in...and shot up the place

Hey remember me?!
No? Not a problem.
You may remember me from my last album entitled "I'm going to lose weight by not eating carbs because I don't want to look pregnant anymore."

Since that album failed to even go gold, things went downhill from there.
I didn't see the results I wanted and felt very discouraged. After said failure, I promised that I would continue with a sensible diet and blog about it, which was a blatant lie. Instead I did what made me happy: Eat. And now I'm about 170 pounds of happy.
Am I unhappy that I'm fat? Nah, I can live with that.
Am I unhappy that I'm unhealthy? No. I'm still alive, technically.
Am I unhappy that all my fat has gone to my gut and refuses to move to other places to at least give the appearance of a balanced fat person? Oh yeah.

Today is Ash Wednesday. The first day of Lent. In the past, I haven't given two craps about it. But in the last month or two I thought about how Lent would be the perfect time to set me on a better eating path. It would be a motivator because it has it's own time period. It'll be grand.
Then again, I thought that if we had a just and loving God he wouldn't allow Lent to start three days after Valentines Day. But alas, God is a bearded celestial jerk. My time had come, and it came too soon.

So, yesterday, upon realizing it was Fat Tuesday, had only twelve hours to devour all the chocolate, diet Pepsi lime, and ice cream cake I could.

My bet to myself is to cut out junk food for the next 40 day. This will include chips, ALL chocolate, ALL soda (including diet, caffeine-free, sugar free, or the combination of any of the three), and any and all candy/sweets.
I have decided that junk food is limited to pizza. I will allow myself pizza, but only once a week, and no more than three slices. And if I should find myself at a fast food restaurant, then it's salad all the way.

This isn't a diet really. Just an excuse to purge myself of a sugar-induced diabetic coma that may be looming on the horizon.


So...good luck to me.


So far I've had a bowl of Cheerios with milk and half a banana. I've also had about two cups of water. Meanwhile I can hear the distinct cry of a can of diet Pepsi lime trying to guilt trip me from the fridge.



Cheers.
J.




Shut up punk!!!