Limes? What LIMES?...

...They didn't have any, they don't grow in the desert.

Yes, on Tuesday, I packed my bags and left for the desert.
I arrived at the Lenten Desert a bit parched and my luggage lost. I had a profound feeling of deja vu (My GOD, this grain of sand looks familiar...fuck, I'm heading in circles!)

It's another forty days of no junk food. Actually, as I have discovered, it's forty-six days, because apparently, we don't count the weekends. Yeah. Lent is only counted by week-days. I think whoever came up with that was either the boss in "Office Space" or Michael Scott.

Day 1 was difficult, but not particularly hard. It would have been a bit easier if for the strawberry jam. Strawberry jam has sugar, yet it is not junk food. I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich almost every day for lunch.
We have no bread.
That's one to you Satan.
By the way, love what you've done with your hair.

Today is Day 2. I'm menstruating and I think I'm getting sick. Without the sugar and the caffeine, I feel like a million dollar glass of ice-cold diarrhea.

Tuesday night I weighed in at 154.5 pounds. Wednesday morning was 154.0.
I didn't weigh in this morning because I have more important things to think about at six in the morning like not tripping and falling face first into the bathtub.


What follows are the junk-food stipulations. These are MY rules. Not yours. This is MY desert, and if you don't like the colour of the sand, you can piss somewhere else.
1. No fast food. The exception to this rule is of course things like Subway and...the Subway at the mall.
2. No dessert.
3. No chocolate, an extension of rule #2, but also applies to things like milk.
4. No chips or dip. The exception is guacamole, but only if I make it myself. The reason for this is because I know exactly what goes into it, and the only questionable thing is the salt.
5. No soda. None. Zip. That is my biggest temptation. TO me, water tastes like that ice cold glass of diarrhea mentioned above, only with less flavour. I've had people say that I can drink diet soda or caffeine free soda. No I can't. Because if I did, the point of all this would be lost.
6. Booze is totally ON limits.
7. I can have pizza, but only up to three slices once a week.

There are probably other rules, but for the most part it's common sense.

Last year it didn't seem as hard. Maybe because I was on my own for so much of it that I didn't have to factor in other people.
If memory serves (and by memory, I mean my refusal to look at the past entries of this blog and check), the only thing I really craved was the soda. 44 days to go.
I'm ready to cut a bitch.

In somewhat better news, we're going to Edmonton on Saturday. I hope we have good weather for it. Eating shouldn't be too much of a problem. Oh, and we're going to see Catalyst Theatre's "Hunchback" on Sunday evening. I am so beyond excited. No, really, you cannot even fathom. I could see this show every night. I can't remember the last time a show has moved me so much. I don't think it's ever happened. I'm sorry I missed opening night tonight, but I'm sure it was perfect.
It was always perfect.

Well, this headache needs a nurse.

Until next time...
If I live that long.