Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself, I'm a [Wo]Man of...Eh, Who Am I Kidding?

Hello.
My name is Jessica "Jehy" Thompson, and I am about to experience the total agony of weight-loss.

In my adult years, I've weighed the least during my third year of college at an acceptable 130 lbs. In the past five years, I've yo-yo-ed (is that even correct?!) and have finally settled at my heaviest. During my last doctors appointment in August, I weighed in at around 155 lbs. Right now, I would put myself between 160 and 165 lbs.

But what's a little weight gain? I'm not obese, just pudgy. I like to eat, and hell, I'd rather die full than die starving. Then again, I'd rather die naturally* and not from heart disease or diabetes.
*no one dies NATURALLY anymore. Dying from cancer is natural these days for Christ's sake.

All that is well and good, until a few weeks ago when a complete stranger asked when I was due.
Never having that happen before, I was actually quite amused. But then when a family member asked if I was expecting, well...the first time was funny. The second time is shameful. Especially when they happen within a few days of eachother.

So, something must be done, and so it shall.
Starting tomorrow, September 21, I will go on a strict no-carb diet for four weeks.
So what are we talking about here; what does that mean--no carbs? Well, there's no such thing as ZERO carbs, unless you can live off of cooking oil. It means the least amount of carbs (no more than ten per day if possible).

Now, I KNOW that this is not a healthy diet. I know that this is something you only do for a short while as kind of a radical cleansing jump-start to a well balanced diet. It's not a healthy diet because here are some of the foods I CAN'T have:
Bread, pasta, crackers, MILK, FRUIT, cereal, chocolate, potatoes, any VEGETABLE that isn't green, ketchup, etc.

So yeah...all that stuff up there? Stuff I LOVE!
What CAN I eat? Take a look:
Chicken, steak, tuna, broccoli, edamame, certain cheeses, fish, eggs...

Yup. Oh, and cross of fish and tuna.
So there you go. Yum. Can't wait.

Exactly though! I CAN'T wait! I can't stand looking pregant when I'm not! I'm tired not being able to get in my clothes. I'm sicking of buying larger clothes that are still to large for me.
I don't want to be svelt and muscular, I don't care about feeling pretty or sexy. I just want to be the old me again.
I know it can be done! And I know that just thinking about this diet makes me want to not do it. I know I'd rather get my wisdom teeth AND my appendix out again rather than give up potatoes and chocolate, but I know it will be worth it.

So I ask, encourage and beg you all to come with me on this journey.


Before I close, I would like to thank a few people. First of all, thank you to my fiancee Dave, who not only helps and supports me on this endeavor, but also did the diet himself and is proof that it works. Secondly, thank you to Lester, the douchebag who pioneered this for Dave and I to see, and who looks fucking incredible by the way. He has a neck! And finally to a wonderful lady named Reba. A couple weeks ago she started a diet/weight-loss blog, and I wish her the best of luck with it. She's given me even more courage to do this and to do it in front of everybody. Plus, because she did it first, I now have a starting point for myself, her ideas and goals will be the stepping stones to my own.

Until tomorrow then, when I post measurements and horribly embarassing and disgusting photos of myself,
Good day and good eating...I hope you choke on that sandwich.

J. Thompson